Someone Please Show This Woman to the Condom Aisle

I recently found out that the lady who had the second set of living octuplets in history already has six kids. That's something you probably heard, too.

But this was something I didn't know: This lady is only 33, and of the foregoing kids, there is already one set of twins. The woman's mom said that this baby-making machine had eight embryos implanted last year. There's been suspiciously little talk of any father. She filed for bankruptcy less than two years ago, and is living with her mother.

Lady, it's called respect for human life! Call me a callous bia, but I think that having that many kids growing up in a house where you can't even support them (or yourself) financially is cruel. And weird. Very, very weird. Not to mention the level of sibling rivalry that these kids will have to endure. How many bathrooms do you think this house has, anyway? These kids are going to be surviving on Hot Pockets and Ramen. And not the good Ramen. The kind they schlep for sale at ghetto tiendas that smell like dead meat.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that this lady can probably hula-hoop with her vag now.

And Pounds Everywhere Have Threatened to Go on Strike...

Beijing's food safety administration has ordered restaurants to remove dog meat from menus to keep from offending Westerners. Sorry folks, if you were looking forward to steaming plate of poodle when you got to the Summer Olympics, it looks like you'll have to settle for the bootleg version.

Also, the last 10 minutes of Fast Food Nation should be viewed by everyone who was looking for that last push to vegatarianism. Otherwise, it should be viewed by no one, unless you want to lose your lunch. Not for the faint of heart. Consider yourself warned. For a more PG-version, you can go here ...

...but I don't really think the killing floors of any slaughterhouses can ever be PG. Unless they're killing tomatoes.

The Barf Bag, Please ...

Tonight I was standing in a sweaty, at-capacity bar talking to complete strangers and generally feeling like a complete fool when I was greeted by a man in black-rimmed glasses and a newsboy hat. He was sweating.

So we started chatting (on account of my need for quotes -- school is cool) ... and this guy was a bit of a spitter. And I had already had a shower that morning. And the proximity of him to me was making the whole experience kind of bad.

Then he did the queerest thing ... actually it was just disgusting -- he lifts the brim of his hat slightly with his left hand and then swiped the first two fingers of his right hand across his forehead before replacing his hat.

Then. He licked. His fingers. :-o

And he was looking right at me and talking the whole time, except for the few seconds he took to lick his grubby fingers as if he was relishing the taste.

I was trying to exit as soon as humanly possible so that I didn't have to see some other weird atrocity. As I was leaving, he grabbed my hand and shook it gleefully.

So that's it. I think I'm going to go puke now.

Goodnight everyone! Hope your Tuesday was effing Super!