Having a Crazy Moment

What. The. Eff. Nadya Suleman, can we chat?

You think you'll be able to support your 14 babies after you finish your "schooling." Assuming that you'll be able to go back to school in the fall, as you plan to do, and finish your master's degree, which would be difficult for ANY mom with multiple kids and no dad, you think a master's in counseling will get you a job that pays enough to feed, clothe and shelter 15 mouths? Oh, and I thougtht this was funny -- the school you're supposedly going to attend has a day-care center.

Imagine you're anyone but Nadya Suleman -- and you want to take your kid (maybe even two -- hey, it happens) to that same day care. When you get there, 14 kids from a single mom are already hogging all the day care space. Frankly, I'd be pissed. And this is a lady who keeps talking about how selfish she isn't.

Lady, I got news for you! You are selfish, and crazy to boot. Just ask your mom, who is stuck with all those kids, and your dad, who had to go to work as a contractor in Iraq to support your retarded decisions. Way to go!

And by the way, since when did an unselfish person who just gave birth a thousand times go get lip injections for her interview on the Today show?

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Nadya Suleman, I don't know you, but if I met you, I might want to punch you in your fat, surgically enhanced mouth.

Geniusness

Here's an excerpt from an evaluation someone left out at the NYU school of journalism, or the "Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute." We're churning out some goodies over here.

Q: What subject would you have liked the instructor to spend more time on? Less time on?

A: diversity focused more on problems facing america, and to expand diversity beyond race.

Q: What other advice do you have for the instructor?

A: Forget trying to get conservatives to come talk to the class. It's nice to try to be objective but it would be more productive if we could put recources into getting more intelligent people than Gordan Liddy.

Q: Please use this space for any additional comments:

A: I was told this was one of the more miserable courses at nyu but i really feel that the proffesor contributed to the fun envirnment that mad the work load tolerable

Apparently, spelling is not taught at the Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute, nor is grammar, punctuation, or how to string together a coherent sentence.

Prospective students to the "Institute," I suggest you save your money.

Please, Please Run for Public Office

Here's an e-mail from a guy who I now find insufferable.
I met him at a Houston bar and exchanged e-mail addresses with him. I let him know that I probably wouldn't be interested in dating him after his first e-mail. I won't tell you who he is, but one day, he might be an elected official in Texas.

I know, I'm a shit. [My comments in red brackets, and edited down for the sake of brevity.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah, .... A couple of things in response to your e-mail. .... I would guess you do not meet many gentlemen who offer effusive compliments without expecting "something" in return. [actually... I do] Fair enough. So, I'll forgive you --- this time. [Phew, I was worried.]

Here's the deal... You are an enchanting woman. .... So my motive is very simple. I like you. And if I am not mistaken, I did not get the feeling you thought I was a jerk. [Me being polite does not equal me not thinking you're a jerk.]

Moreover ... I plan on seeking elected office in Texas and am working towards that .... [Please, please ...]

...In short, (I know, too late) [Yes] I'd love to be pen pals (you may need to look that up on Wikipedia), [Really? Do I even need to say anything here?] and share some time and thoughts via the written word we both love.

.... Well, back to fighing the forces of evil -- Big Pharma!!! And yes, I sometimes wear a cape to work; no tights -- though I do have dynamite legs! [Please do not share your cross-dressing fantasies with me; I really don't know you that well.] Not like yours, of course, but dynamite for a guy. And you can fully expect the e-mail compliments to continue. :) [And I realize that won't be happening now, but believe me, it's a relief]

Well, I hope to hear from you soon. [Please don't hold your breath --- On second thought ...]

Dr. Dre and Victims of Violent Crime, Skip This Post

Something bothering me right now (and I mean this very SECOND):

The "It appears that I may have to open a can of Whoop Ass" pose.

Unless you are a bonafide rapper, a rapper who has been accused of murder, or a murderer, please don't take pictures like this. You look like a douche bag. And that douche-bagginess is compounded when you take this picture and you're unusually skinny.

(The first guy was actually wearing eyeliner, so I saved you an eye to help me make my point here.)