I Love You, Jesus

I know that it is a divine miracle that my favorite movie of all time is getting the remake treatment!

Clue is going to have another go, and I CAN'T WAIT. Pleeeease tell me Tim Curry will come back as ... well, something. And I want a bunch of different endings again, too. I'm a demanding person.

Pirates of the Carribean director Gore Verbinski has signed on. Who do you think will be Colonel Mustard? Miss Peacock? Prof. Plum, Ms. Scarlett, Ms. White ... oh, and Mr. Green. That guy was the easiest to forget outta all of the Clue characters. What does he do? He's not a prof or a colonel; I bet he was the mansion's janitor dressed up to look important so he could crash the party. Or he's a gigolo. One or the other.

THANK YOOUUUUUUU ---- this is my pic for best picture of the year for 200??? When is this flick coming out?

In other board game-movie news, Universal inked a deal with Hasbro to adapt several other games into films: Monolopy, which Ridley Scott is working on; Candyland, which I already mentioned below; and -- wtf?? -- the Ouija board? Weird.

In Case You Didn't Already Know ...

Candyland: It's ON. The movie, that is. The guy who penned "Tropic Thunder" will be delivering a delicious film adapted from the tastiest board game ever: Variety

There really will be a SATC 2, I wasn't just putting SJP up next to the Cowardly Lion for nuthin': E!

Etta James is pissed at Beyonce for singing HER song at the inauguration. Will Sasha Fierce's robot hand save her from the ORIGINAL diva?: Bossip

Sex and the City 2:

... Will Carrie find the ruby slippers and marry the tin man?

see famous look-a-like faces

Ah, to be 14 ...

Dakota Fanning's skin looks like angels wept and the tears joined and formed a beautiful veil of glowing dewiness on her face.

Dakota was in New York promoting her new flick, "Push," on Letterman. Oh, and she talked about being a vampire.

Supporting? Lead? Wha?

Dev Patel lost to Heath Ledger at the SAG Awards last weekend, which prompted me to ask:

"Dev Patel was a supporting actor in Slumdog Millionaire? Who was the lead?"

The whole movie, in case you haven't seen it, is based on the life of Dev Patel's character. They show his life as he grows from a young child to the age he is when he goes on "Who Wants to Be a Millionare."

Anyone know who the lead would be in this movie?

Burger King Unveils the Most Elegant Scent of the Year

You too can attract the neighbor's dog, Star Jones and David Hasselhoff when you wear Burger King's latest offering to the burger-loving public: "Flame," a men's body spray that smells like "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat." Yummy.
Will the Burger King outsell Britney's "Curious," Hilary Duff's "With Love" or Jessica Simpson's "Fancy"? The Dairy Queen's next move should be a no-brainer.


In other news, my sister said this while we were watching an E! News report on Heath Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight:

"You can totally tell where they had to switch actors."

Intrigued, I asked her to elaborate. She explained that Heath Ledger died half way through the filming and had to be replaced with Johnny Depp.

She actually believed this.


Did anyone else here this ridiculousness?

Shrek Called. He Wants His Big Toes Back.

I absolutely love Kate Winslet -- she's prim, pretty, beautiful -- but she has ugly big toes. The rest of her toes are cute, clean, and decidedly British-looking.

But her big toes look like they were wrenched off of a cave-dwelling ogre, cleaned up and slapped on her feet. This is rather unfortunate for her, because otherwise, she's just about perfect.

If you see Revolutionary Road, which is very, very good, you'll get a chance to see what I'm talking about near the end of the film.

That being said, here's a lovely picture of your girl Kate at the premiere of The Readers, a movie in which she appears nude. Enjoy.

Black Gay Men Getting Married: The Best Movie You Probably Won't See

"Noah's Arc" (also a series on Logo, the gay television network) is out now, and I never would have seen it because the premise sounded, well ... all over the map for stuff I don't usually see. It:

a) is a romantic comedy

b) revolves around marriage

c) is about black men

d) is (c), but doesn't star either Eddie Murphy or Martin Lawrence

So imagine my surprise when my mom suggested we see it. My Mom. She lives in East Texas, for chrissakes. She's married to a man who didn't see Brokeback Mountain because he was afraid people would find out. She grew up in a backwater town in Louisiana.

But she -- of all people ... the mind wobbles.

Anyway. It was a riot. You should go see it. Don't worry; if you do, I won't tell anyone.

Ironman has Converted Me / A Flying Dilemma

This movie is a CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE. All the actors are amazing, the effects are amazing, the explosions are amazing. And I don't even like explosions. Just go see it.

On another note, I'll be flying back across the U.S. to NYC tonight on a redeye to JFK. Yippee. Oh, and I have a center seat. Hopefully there won't be any small barking dogs, morbidly obese flaky-skinned farters or a high-school glee club members in my aisle. (All these things have actually happened. And then there was this time with the spontaneous explosive puker two aisles back, but I digress.)

I always thought it would be nice if, instead of letting you pick your seat based on a mock-up of the inside of the plane, they let you choose your seat based on the people who'd be sitting next to you.

"Would you like:

A) a Mexican laborer who prefers Axe body spray over showers (no extra charge)

B) a normally polite teenager who possibly has rabies (no extra charge)

or C) the chick who got kicked off a Southwest flight for wearing a too-short miniskirt (no extra charge from the airline, but she may charge her own, additional fee)"

Ah, screw it. I'm just going to take a sleeping pill and pretend I'm not on a plane.

Bon voyage!