Someone Please Show This Woman to the Condom Aisle

I recently found out that the lady who had the second set of living octuplets in history already has six kids. That's something you probably heard, too.

But this was something I didn't know: This lady is only 33, and of the foregoing kids, there is already one set of twins. The woman's mom said that this baby-making machine had eight embryos implanted last year. There's been suspiciously little talk of any father. She filed for bankruptcy less than two years ago, and is living with her mother.

Lady, it's called respect for human life! Call me a callous bia, but I think that having that many kids growing up in a house where you can't even support them (or yourself) financially is cruel. And weird. Very, very weird. Not to mention the level of sibling rivalry that these kids will have to endure. How many bathrooms do you think this house has, anyway? These kids are going to be surviving on Hot Pockets and Ramen. And not the good Ramen. The kind they schlep for sale at ghetto tiendas that smell like dead meat.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that this lady can probably hula-hoop with her vag now.

Chinese Milk Does NOT Do a Body Good, Especially If You're the One Selling It / Carry Mace If You Go to Virginia Tech

A couple of Chinese dairy execs have been sentenced to DEATH as the result of a food safety scandal that left at least six children dead.

Dairy execs spiked their milk with the chemical melamine to make the protein count appear higher, but it caused kidney stones in children.

Also, some think that the scandal was covered up until after the Beijing Olympics were over.

Gosh, China! There's so much craziness here, I don't know where to start -- the milk-spiking, scandal-hiding, babies-with-kidney-stones, executive-killing madness has paralyzed me.

In other news, a Chinese PhD student DECAPITATED another Chinese student at an Au Bon Pain at Virginia Tech Wednesday.

You might remember that Virginia Tech is also where a Korean student shot 32 of his classmates and teachers before killing himself in April 2007.

Note to self: Don't take classes at Virginia Tech or anger any of the Asians who are enrolled there.