She Wants to Bail Out the Milk Companies in China

Lucie J. Kim has decided to file a class-action lawsuit on behalf of the people of Los Angeles county who have slanted eyes and were offended by a recent picture that Miley Cyrus. In case you live under a rock, here it is:

Lucie claims to represent one million Asians in LA who each want $4,000 (the minimum for a civil rights violation) to ease the pain of seeing Miley do her best Kung-Fu actor impression. Or something like that.

This picture actually seems to be a conglomeration of civil-rights violations: Miley and her buddy on the far left seem to be making China eyes, another person is doing the sleepy confused face, the girl is doing the "Can't poop" face, another seems to be doing the "one in the pink, one in the stink face" and one guy is obviously making fun of stoners. So I think someone needs to rep not only Asians, but constipated people, sexual deviants and weed smokers.

Chinese Milk Does NOT Do a Body Good, Especially If You're the One Selling It / Carry Mace If You Go to Virginia Tech

A couple of Chinese dairy execs have been sentenced to DEATH as the result of a food safety scandal that left at least six children dead.

Dairy execs spiked their milk with the chemical melamine to make the protein count appear higher, but it caused kidney stones in children.

Also, some think that the scandal was covered up until after the Beijing Olympics were over.

Gosh, China! There's so much craziness here, I don't know where to start -- the milk-spiking, scandal-hiding, babies-with-kidney-stones, executive-killing madness has paralyzed me.

In other news, a Chinese PhD student DECAPITATED another Chinese student at an Au Bon Pain at Virginia Tech Wednesday.

You might remember that Virginia Tech is also where a Korean student shot 32 of his classmates and teachers before killing himself in April 2007.

Note to self: Don't take classes at Virginia Tech or anger any of the Asians who are enrolled there.