I'm Back In L.A. / Things I Would Do With a Crappy Car

Bridget and I made it to L.A. without killing each other or ourselves on the drive -- now we're dealing with L.A. traffic and parking.

There aren't many parking lots in the area where we live (Westwood/Beverly Hills/Century City). Valets abound at places that I can't afford to be in (unless I'm with Dennis). Pricey garages are strewn about. Street parking is my most frequent option. But if and when I can find a free parking lot, I'm more than happy to circle a few times before giving up -- except when I see this:

Also -- people who park their Expeditions, Navigators and Escalades in "Compact" spots, forcing the neighboring spot to be virtually useless unless you drive a bicycle.

So I got to thinking how nice it would be to oh, I don't know ... ram these vehicles? Maybe? Just a little?

Of course, (legal issues not withstanding) I can't do that in Dennis's car, but if I had a crappy car (think a rusted-out, barely functioning hoopty-mobile) I think I could gleefully ram these jerks who think it's ok to gyp someone out of a perfectly good parking spot because they either a) drive a giant car and think they can just put it two spots insted of one, or b) drive a "nice" or "new" or "just got washed" car and don't want anyone to park within six feet of them.

Of course, a car like the one I would use to ram an Expedition probably couldn't get going fast enough to do any real damage. It would be the vehicular equivalent of farting on a sibling's pillow -- not that I've ever done that, nor do I condone it.